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Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Awkward af

Man...life has been getting weird, and I believe I'm the cause of all this.

Without getting into too many details, I was at my neighbors house yesterday. Everything was cool...I mean I didn't have much to say and my energy was type low, but I was there and being a decent human being. I played some beats off my phone out of nervousness/boredom and they were well received! That was pretty cool, but then the odd part came; I played my music for them.

What transpired next was a collective back and forth between sheer disbelief and comparison, all the while actually giving me accolades. You would think I would feel proud or something...but I just felt awkward af really. To me it was like, holdup, you really fuck with me like that? (o_O)

Of course, there was the Kendrick thing that came up again. I think that is gonna continue. I dunno, but I think it has something to do with my voice or something. I dunno. It was weird because the bros were like, "You said you rapped a little bit, this is crazy af!" and then began to joke about how people say some low key shit like that then pull out some incredible shit. I didn't realize I came off like that, I'm odd as hell frfr, hahah. I don't think I'm that lyrical...but they thought it was. Go figure.



Gonna be recording on Thursday...and for some reason my nerves are on edge regarding a song I wrote. Track 3 of this mix-tape I'm working on takes quite a dark turn, and if mis-interpreted, could lead to real life issues based on my observations from yesterday. I mean, I think it's gonna be a dope song, and I always strive for representation of truth as opposed to falsehoods, but I fear that people are gonna take what I'm rapping about out of context; in the track entitled "Northside", I depict two occurring and current themes; the further deterioration of a black neighborhood to pre-existing conditions such as drugs and the general manner of the human condition in such an environment, and the sweeping gentrification projects starting to take over this side of town that will ultimately migrate black people from one side of town to another as if that is a solution to what is going on. Very easily if I got any traction I could imagine people opposed to me in the sense that they feel like I shouldn't be talking about stuff like this; that since I'm not from here, that these issues are not for me to talk about. All I can say regarding this is that my music is based firmly in reality, and I don't go out of my way to exaggerate shit for clicks or likes or whatever social media like shit people do nowadays. I just wanna showcase my living environment, and what I endured, because it changed aspects of me as a person. I get why people will cross-examine me though; it's like I was never supposed to live life like this in the eyes of some people. To some I was meant to be someone different...but life just didn't work out that way for me.

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