First night of recording

Last night marked the first time in roughly two years I recorded. Seeing that there was no mixing involved, you'd think that recording raw vocals wouldn't be such a big deal...but it was.

I recorded at WhatIPH studios with @krac_kills and it was pretty cool. I manag d to get the raw vocals done for two songs in roughly an hour!

In between songs I kind of explained the process the project was undergoing and inspirations for the projects soundscape.

As of this point, the raw vocals for the first two songs are up on the drive. Now the rest is up to JC!

I was a bit nervous, between having not recorded in a couple years combined with recording at a new studio, but Ian saw potential in my music, which made me feel a little more assured. He also showed me stuff he's been working on, which surprised me that he has aspirations as am artist as well.

I guess we all have stuff we wanna pursue at the end of the day. I just wanna be reassured that when this stuff gets into JC's hands that he'll be able to mix it to greatness.

"And where did that bring you? Back to me."

So...I've crawled back to doing music, lol. It's strange; you can do everything in life people expect of you and STILL be incredibly empty inside.

I don't know why pursuing music has such a gravitational hold on me, but it's a firm grip for sure.

For like the past 2 months, from Friday night to Saturday morning, I've been chipping away at the production for this new project. This Friday coming will be the last entry in regards to me creating instrumentals for this project, bringing the number to 14 songs written. I have way more than 14 instrumentals, but I selectively picked and chose what would fit the soundscape vs what wouldn't. Some just didn't sound good, or were too similar a soundscape to a prior song/instrumental.

Between me and JC, the next phase after this weekend coming will be raw recording. I have plans on having it done at WhatIPH studios, so there is definitely a plan set in motion.

After listening to how the instrumentals blend with each other, I can say this is the first time I felt so positive about releasing a project.

Shout out to JC for believing in me when I didn't even believe in myself. Shout out to Wiz Khalifa for being the reason I even bothered to pursue music in the first place.

What do I do now?

As I've been taught, you get a good education, job, life partner, then aim for ownership of property, i.e., a home in the burbs. Somehow, I've treacherously navigated all of these steps. I wasn't completely successful, but somehow, ended up in the burbs anyway.

What's been bothering me for the past couple of days is how I should spend my free time; mind you, most of my time is spent at work. Considering how I'm not blowing my money on studio time and musical pursuits anymore, I'm at a bit of a loss. Play video games again? Please, that's a difficult thing to do.

It's not like I don't enjoy video games, I'm just really picky about what I pick up and play. You have to be pretty gripping for me to be encouraged enough to continuously play you, so to speak. Hell, I haven't been intrigued with gaming since my days playing FFXI. I could renew my subscription to FFXIV, but it's just not as fun...maybe because I'm playing a job for efficiency vs enjoy-ability?

I get sidelined and pick up every single quest on the map because the gold exclamation points are annoying and make me feel guilty when I ignore them. Nah, there's just no sense of nostalgia; I don't daydream about playing it, or getting swept away into it's world. Often times I find myself humming the theme song to Ronfaure from FFXI. I imagine walking through the forest. I miss the connections I made with complete strangers to perform, from an external point of view, useless tasks for short busts of dopamine. Either way, I just don't really have the time for such a labor intensive MMO, and FFXIV is so low effort that I get bored of it.

So I'm kinda at an impasse. What am I supposed to do with what little time I have to myself? I swear there has to be more to life than getting up to go to work, just to come home and stare at 9gag or Facebook or read manga. I. AM. BORED.

Changes for the better

I don't wanna start this off being some kind of negative Nancy about how my situation played out; what it is is what it is at the end of the day. There is one thing I can be grateful for though, and that's getting out of Northview Heights.

On the 24th of this month of August, 2018, I'll be moving out of the projects with my family to a home in Penn Hills...yes, I'm moving to the suburbs of Pittsburgh.

I did this all kinds of out of order, tripping and stumbling as I went about being an adult trying to make it out of poverty. I had help from unexpected places, and went to some dark places going about the simple act of living...but hey, it happened.

I'm gonna be out the hood, my kids are gonna be in a good environment, I have a somewhat enjoyable career, been married for a minute now...all I need is a vehicle and I'm straight. As of this point in my life, I'm not focused on pipe dreams, but rather things that are realistically obtainable with the means I have now.