What do I do now?

As I've been taught, you get a good education, job, life partner, then aim for ownership of property, i.e., a home in the burbs. Somehow, I've treacherously navigated all of these steps. I wasn't completely successful, but somehow, ended up in the burbs anyway.

What's been bothering me for the past couple of days is how I should spend my free time; mind you, most of my time is spent at work. Considering how I'm not blowing my money on studio time and musical pursuits anymore, I'm at a bit of a loss. Play video games again? Please, that's a difficult thing to do.

It's not like I don't enjoy video games, I'm just really picky about what I pick up and play. You have to be pretty gripping for me to be encouraged enough to continuously play you, so to speak. Hell, I haven't been intrigued with gaming since my days playing FFXI. I could renew my subscription to FFXIV, but it's just not as fun...maybe because I'm playing a job for efficiency vs enjoy-ability?

I get sidelined and pick up every single quest on the map because the gold exclamation points are annoying and make me feel guilty when I ignore them. Nah, there's just no sense of nostalgia; I don't daydream about playing it, or getting swept away into it's world. Often times I find myself humming the theme song to Ronfaure from FFXI. I imagine walking through the forest. I miss the connections I made with complete strangers to perform, from an external point of view, useless tasks for short busts of dopamine. Either way, I just don't really have the time for such a labor intensive MMO, and FFXIV is so low effort that I get bored of it.

So I'm kinda at an impasse. What am I supposed to do with what little time I have to myself? I swear there has to be more to life than getting up to go to work, just to come home and stare at 9gag or Facebook or read manga. I. AM. BORED.

Changes for the better

I don't wanna start this off being some kind of negative Nancy about how my situation played out; what it is is what it is at the end of the day. There is one thing I can be grateful for though, and that's getting out of Northview Heights.

On the 24th of this month of August, 2018, I'll be moving out of the projects with my family to a home in Penn Hills...yes, I'm moving to the suburbs of Pittsburgh.

I did this all kinds of out of order, tripping and stumbling as I went about being an adult trying to make it out of poverty. I had help from unexpected places, and went to some dark places going about the simple act of living...but hey, it happened.

I'm gonna be out the hood, my kids are gonna be in a good environment, I have a somewhat enjoyable career, been married for a minute now...all I need is a vehicle and I'm straight. As of this point in my life, I'm not focused on pipe dreams, but rather things that are realistically obtainable with the means I have now.