I've been doing allot of soul searching lately. I've mentioned before my condition and the events that led up today. I've been on my medication consistently, so the audio hallucinations have just about died out, my mind once again in tact.
The flip side is, once again, this odd hollowed-out feeling, and all these questions stuck in my head about God and the true nature of one's soul.
How can I any longer in good conscience believe one deity is superior to another's so much that I pick up arms to do them wrong? I can't.
How can I read the bible with the complete understanding that this was a pre-organized, manufactured and loosely connected group of texts put together by the Roman Catholic church? I won't.
How can I even look at Islam with any level of interest beyond community organization and outreach when Arabs enslaved African people as well? Impossible.
The more I read and learn, the more concerned I become over the notion of original religious indigenous to populaces are being driven away to believe in something not of their origin? It feels wrong.
Every generation of black people are almost systematically wired to make people believe we are in the end times. The bible is so open ended, any maniac with a gift for gab can construe the words meant to live by and use them as a tool for self gain and destruction. If the bible is capable of this, then any religion is. I'd rather just learn to love and accept people than declare war on them. I will not openly attack people's choice to believe in what they want, but at the same time, you can't yank me to the water and force me to drink either. God can judge me for not believing in the correct religion, because I refuse to trust people with what I have ownership of...my soul.